I think it was at church yesterday that I remembered my experience of almost being saved. You see, I was baptized Episcopalian. Most Christian denominations believe that upon baptism, our sins are forgiven. By God's grace, we won't go to hell. That's what they say.

I went to a private school for most of my education, a very fundamentalist school. The only reason I was able to attend was because my father worked there and my sister and I got in on discount. I never felt completely accepted, but I wasn't truly ostracized until my father became the asst. principal. At that point in time, there was no hope of me being accepted by the "cool" kids, with their Dooney and Bourke purses and their Girbaud jeans. The skater boys wouldn't talk to me, because they were doing bad stuff that I might tell my dad (of course, my main crush in middle school was a skater). I had a group of friends, but we were all outcasts: the girl with an overbite, the almost-chubby girl with an obvious crush, the non-white girl with a thick braid, and me.

We had weekly chapel services, and if we were "lucky", a pastor from the church would speak to us (one time we had someone come talk to us about the "evils" of homosexuality). At one of these, the preacher called for anyone who felt the "spirit" to come up front and be saved. I remember thinking this might be a way to social-acceptance, and was also just curious to see if anything special would happen. As we walked out the chapel to this guy's office (two other heathens and I), my dad grabbed my arm in the hall.

"What are you doing??!!" he asked me. He looked very disappointed, as well as angry with me.

I can't remember my response, but middle-school was my rebellious period, so it was probably something like, "I dunno." I went up to the office and talked to the preacher. He wanted to schedule a time for me to be baptized during a church service and more. We set up a time for me to come by again, and left it at that.

A week later, in health class, an office aide brought in a message for me from the preacher and I ignored it. I stuck it in a pocket in my binder and left it there.

Later on, I discovered public high school, where I was not an outcast, and this private school terminated my dad for not being Baptist. Well, that's the summarized version of it, anyway.
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