where or when

"It seems we stood and talked like this before
We looked at each other in the same way then
But I can't remember where or when. . ."


who

Name: elizs
Home: Austin, Texas, United States

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Friday, October 29, 2004
velvet goldmine. . . eh.


a short note on music

I'm sitting here at work, listening to my launch station. "I'll Remember" by Madonna just came on, and my spirits rose. I don't know why music can influence my mood so.

In high school, the director of my magent program called me a "sensual person". Take that as you will. . . she attempted to clarify her statement, saying that she knew I would come to Spanish class and put my own music in the instructor's tape player. I would rush through the halls after my previous class so I would have time to listen to at least one song before class started. Sometimes my teacher would already have music playing, like the Gipsy Kings. When that happened, I would leave it on. Otherwise, I'd plug in my tape. My teacher didn't mind (he and my father had worked together years before), and it really set me for the rest of the day.

If I had my way, I'd have music around me all the time. I just love it that much. The music I listen to on my ride to work can hold me for part of the day because I'll get one of the songs in my head. Usually some other tune will work its way in halfway through the day.

My mother has a default tune that she always whistles. I can't do that. I always have certain tunes in my head, but never the same one for long periods of time. Although - I have had certain songs that creep in my head and keep me from sleeping. I have no explanation for that. They are usually songs I don't like, and it is always a specific phrase of the song that just repeats over and over. Yuck.

I probably should get one of those iPod thingies. I'll wait til they go down to double digits (Ha!).


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I love Lost

Kate
You are Kate. Breathtakingly beautiful, seemingly
pure of heart, and you can even sew your own
curtains! You listen to Patsy Cline anywhere
and know how to work a farm. Your past haunts
you. An accused criminal, are you innocent or
guilty? The only thing thing we know you're
guilty of is not giving Charlie the attention
he needs.


Which Lost Character Are You?
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Thursday, October 28, 2004
Confessions of Max Tivoli

Last night I finished reading The Confessions of Max Tivoli. It is such an engrossing book. I have read a lot of books, and I've never read anything like it. The book is written in first-person from the perspective of a man who is born as an old man, and who grows younger-looking as he ages. He tells of his doomed life and his obsession with his first love.

His first kiss is a 14-year-old girl who lives downstairs. The only thing is, he is a 17-year-old who looks like he is in his fifties.

I kept thinking of The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, but that work only shares a couple of details in common. I kept reading Max Tivoli, thinking how strange it was. I finished before I went to bed, and while I was trying to get to sleep, I still kept thinking about the book. It's just that powerful.

unrelated: Last night I dreamt that I went to see a movie by myself in an imaginary East-Austin theatre. The police came in to the film with a drug dog, and the dog came right up to me on the aisle and sat. So I got taken to jail and they searched my purse. Then the FBI came to close the investigation, because obviously, I never had any drugs on my person. I kept telling them, "I've never taken drugs! I promise!" Then the Kerry campaign picked me up as a sympathy case.

And I went to buy a personal pizza and realized that the cops still had my purse, with all my money.

If only my imagination worked so vibrantly when I was awake!

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Monday, October 25, 2004
some people have social lives

I spent Saturday in (mostly because of my allergies) and finished 3 books in one day. I should note that I only started two the same day. The first one I'd been working on for a week; the other two my mom had gotten from her book clubs. Since I had only brought one book over to their house and was too comfortable to drive back to my apartment, I made do.

1. Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress - I really liked this book. There isn't a life-changing plot, and I was okay with that. The characters are well-drawn and the imagery of lice was a bit too accurate for me. Eeew. I loved the description of the village and the effects the forbidden books had on the main characters.

2. Maeve Binchy's new book Nights of Rain and Stars - started early afternoon. I think her books are losing something as she keeps putting them out. This one was very short, simple, and sentimental. There were too many characters and not enough development. Her bad guys are so easily bad. She lets them off with no reason for their behavior. Basically - I wouldn't recommend this book. It's much cheesier than her others. Go read "Scarlet Feather". It's cheesy, but at least there's a bit more development.

3. Any Place I Hang My Hat by Susan Isaacs. This is the first book I've read by Susan Isaacs, and I don't really desire to read any more. This is a decent book, and quite funny in parts, but I had to skim a whole lot. I really liked all the characters, but was very unsure about the narrator. I mainly read this book b/c Jennifer Weiner had a blurb on the back recommending it. Well, that and it was there. I finished it at midnight.

Then I started The Confessions of Max Tivoli, which I put down at 12:15am and am still working on (see sidebar). I had to work 4 hours yesterday to make up for my lazy reading the day before.

But you know what? I LOVE lying around and reading on a day off. So my weekend was great!

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lunch at Hyde Park Bar and Grill

I was supposed to meet L for lunch at Hyde Park Bar and Grill at 11:45, and she hadn't come by 12:05. I had my eye on the door for her (unfortunately my phone doesn't work in Hyde Park), and instead, in walks my high-school English teacher, Mr. M.

I realize that the only people I use titles on are teachers, professors or doctors. Although I graduated from high school eight years ago, I still call him Mr. M.

He told me that he is working with English education students at UT. I asked if he liked it better than freshman English and he wouldn't admit to it. I said, "It's different." And he agreed with that. He told me that he had worked at HRW for a couple of years after leaving the LAA and that it wasn't very exciting. I told him I had interned there a couple of summers and we chatted about that.

He didn't remember my sister's name, but he asked about her.

He went back to his original table after we chatted for a bit and I finally glimpsed L across the restaurant. My poor waiter - he'd given me a table and I'd finally ordered a turkey burger to go. But he fixed it so I could eat it there and L and I were able to finally meet (30 minutes late) and talk shop.

edit: Before we got down to non-profit stuff, L asked me if I ever wanted to get married. How random is that? I was so surprised, I don't exactly remember my response. I think I said, "Yes, well, sometime in the future. It's not a lifetime goal." Inside I was thinking, why do you care? Do you have someone in mind? Yeesh.

Her conversation was all over the place at lunch, but we did manage to stay on topic for most of the meal.

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WorkSafe weblogs

B has made his weblog(s) worksafe. What a fantastic idea!

WorkSafe Support Center

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Thursday, October 21, 2004
S*x Without a Trace?


Which File Extension Are You?

I guess .swf is different from SFW.
You are .swf	 You are flashy, but lack substance.  You like playing, but often you are annoying. Grow up.
Which File Extension are You?


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Wednesday, October 20, 2004
I voted. Yup.


Tuesday, October 19, 2004
what are my goals?

I am not a real goal-oriented person. I have short-term goals, but no real big goal for my life, besides to help as many people as I can and to do what makes me happy.

I used to have big goals. In high school, my goal was to get into a good college. In college, my goal was to get a job in book publishing after a period of service. I will readily admit that in early years of college I was under the delusion that I would be married when I graduated. I just assumed this would happen. Around junior year I figured out it wasn't going to happen, so adjusted my goals. Now my goals are so broad and open, there is nothing really for me to stick to.

I feel like I have no big plan, so I'm going to try and make one.

1 year - save up and go on a short cruise with my sister
3 years - if still in current rut, move to Albuquerque. Work at a local non-profit.

Every time I talk to Kristina, she tries to get me to move to New Mexico. When I was up there and we were at her in-law's house in Las Vegas, she went through the local want ads reading jobs that I was qualified for. I would love to live in New Mexico and it is certainly affordable (at least in the Albuquerque area).

So there. Now I have something to work towards.

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Friday, October 15, 2004
another Minnesota memory

I had just changed out of my chalky work clothes when the phone rang. I picked it up before Renee had a chance to. We were both the first ones back from our respective worksites. I could always tell when I beat my Americorps buddies to the fourplex because I had my choice of parking spaces for my truck.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Elizabeth?" Asking this was a safe bet for anyone who called our apartment; there were three Elizabeths sharing an apartment. It somehow worked out because one went by Liz, one as Beth, and I only went by Elizabeth. Unfortunately, all our parents called us Elizabeth when they called, so had to ask for us by last name. I don't know how Renee survived.

"Yes?" I asked the male voice on the line.

"It’s Jon."

"Hi, Jon." We weren't very close, so I was surprised to hear from him, especially during the workday. "What's going on?"

"Could you check and see if anyone is in my apartment?"

"Um, it looks like Renee and I are the only ones here at the house so far."

"Oh." He paused for a second. "Well, something happened at the worksite, and I was wondering if you could come pick me up from the hospital."

"Oh my gosh! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, they're letting me go home. I can tell you about it after you get me."

"Oh, okay. We're on our way."

I had no idea where the hospital was, so got Renee to drive us after I told her what was going on.


I remember walking through the hospital. We parked on the streets of downtown Minneapolis and searched through the hospital for Jon. I hadn't been in too many hospitals, so was slightly weirded out by the smell, the illness and the white halls.

I can't remember how we found him. Renee went to get the car and Jon and I stood on the corner and waited. Apparently, he had started feeling nauseous while roofing on the work site, and looked so bad that his site supervisor had called for an ambulance to take him to the hospital. They thought it might be his appendix. The hospital staff, upon his arrival, had diagnosed him with an ulcer instead.

"Wow," I remarked upon hearing of his day’s events. I felt slightly uncomfortable with the urban silence of our surroundings. What was I supposed to do? I wasn’t very close to him at all, I couldn't hug him, could I? All I could say was, 'wow'.


A few weeks later we found out that Jon had been fully admitted to a hospital in one of the suburbs. Sara, Renee and I made a trip out to see him. We feel badly for him; he'd had to stay there for a few days all alone. His fiancé lived in Connecticut, as did his family. We were apparently some of the closest friends he had at the moment.

They had put him in the children’s wing for some reason. A 24 year old skinny white male in the children’s wing. I still don’t understand the placement. He told us that they couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. In the back of our minds, we were all thinking. . . cancer. What else could it be? It was frightening.

When you are in Habitat Americorps, you have safety on your mind a good part of the time. I knew I could expect some volunteers to get slightly injured on site (I had one fall off a low scaffold) and I tried to keep a safe worksite. I imagined the reason one of us would go to the hospital would be for a worksite related injury. I never thought I'd see a situation like Jon's.

We spent a Saturday afternoon with him in the children's visiting area, playing with the limited amount of board games available. We made small talk and tried to find some non-Barney video he could watch. We tried to keep his mind off how crappy he was feeling, the IV attached to his body.


He was finally let out of the hospital a week later and came by our apartment. Renee was cooking her Minnesota quesadillas as Jon sat at our Goodwill table and told us what his illness was. They had finally diagnosed him with Crohn's disease. This disease is somewhat difficult to diagnose, as its symptoms can be mistaken as related to other disorders. He had to change his diet, of course. He had a terribly sad look on his face as he confessed to me that there is no cure for the disease and that he would have to live with it for the rest of his life. He had been a vegetarian, and now would have to improvise a diet.


I saw an ad tonight for a drug for people with Crohn's disease and all this came back to me. It's been a few years now, so my details are sketchy, but it really happened.

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volunteer for the Texas Book festival

I just completed an online form to volunteer at the Texas Book Festival. It was really great to attend last year, but there are only a couple of authors coming this year that I feel much about. Anyway, I figure I can try to help out. Hopefully the weather will be as lovely as it was last year.

Texas Book Festival - volunteer

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um, what the. . .?

HASH(0x8a85b6c)
You're Brigitte Bardot!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
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Thursday, October 14, 2004
I did mean to record this.

I'm at the light at 183 and Cameron Rd.

this is an audio post - click to play

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another reason to like Whole Foods

Whole Foods Market has online recipes! Why am I just now discovering this?

I'm going to the grocery store tonight (not Whole Foods, unfortunately), and I want to get ingredients for a recipe.

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Wednesday, October 13, 2004
survey sez. . .

A - Age: 26
B - Band listening to right now: Crowded House
C - Crush: none right now, really. Does Taye Diggs count?
D - Dad's name: Mark
E - Easiest person to talk to: Kristina
F - Favorite band at the moment: Calexico
G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: worms - I like the texture better.
H - Hometown: Austin, Texas
I - Instruments: voice
K - Kids: nope.
L - Longest car ride ever: my drive from Minneapolis to Olathe, Kansas/Olathe to Austin, TX all by my lonesome.
M - Mom's name: Laurel
N - Number of siblings: uno
P - Phobia[s]: huge roaches, large crowds
Q - Favorite Quote: currently "It would indeed be ironic if, in the name of national defence, we would sanction the subversion of one of those liberties which make the defence of our nation worthwhile." -Earl Warren, jurist (1891-1974)
R - Reason to smile: Blue Bell Dos Amigos ice cream. Yum!
S - Song you sang last: Aimee Mann, "This is how it goes"
T - Time you wake up: 7:03
U - Unknown fact about me: I chew ice. Okay, some people already know this about me.
V - Vegetable you hate: Just one? Squash.
W - Worst habit: chewing ice?
X - X-rays you've had: teeth; foot, when I broke it in fifth grade. Um, do mammograms count?
Y - Yummy food: Suzi's China Grill Krab Rangoon
Z - Zodiac sign: Taurus

I got it from Alice.

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my new favorite music video

Sarah McLachlan - World On Fire

Premise: The simple video only cost $15 to make, so they donated the rest of the $150,000 budget to world charities.

It's a great song, and the video is extremely touching. Sarah McLachlan rocks!

Thanks to freakgirl for pointing it out.

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Tuesday, October 12, 2004


cooking by myself

I like to cook, as long as it doesn't take much prep and doesn't require a bunch of random ingredients. Now do I cook as much as I should? No. I snack for dinner or go mooch off my parents. I think I might have more of an impetus to cook if I found some quick, simple and healthy recipes (that wouldn't leave me with an excess of leftovers). So I spent part of the day searching for cookbooks on amazon.com. I added three of them (including a kosher cookbook) to my wish list (hint, hint).

There was a period of time last year when I was making a yeast bread weekly. That is definitely not a quick recipe. I really got in the zone though. I would start making the bread when "The Simpsons" were on at 6pm, and I would be done by 9pm. There are a couple of times when you have to wait 30 minutes for the bread to rise, so I would read. I lasted about a month and a half working with this.

The only thing I cook nowadays is soft tacos. My friend the native Minnesotan actually taught me her technique. You spray a skillet with Pam after you've cut up some boneless, skinless chicken breasts. You stick them in the skillet to brown them. When the chicken is fully cooked, you turn down the heat and add half a chicken taco spice packet. Then you add about a 1/2 cup of salsa. Mix it all up and keep it heated for a bit longer, and you've got your soft taco filling!

I like making these because I never have too many leftovers, and it is a really quick recipe. Since I only use half a spice packet, the sodium level isn't so high, and the salsa gives you some vegetables (sure it does!). I also only use organic salsa.

I'd like to find more cookbooks or sources for quick and healthy recipes for cooking alone. There just doesn't seem to be that much variety of sources out there.

Anyone have any recommendations?

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Sunday, October 10, 2004
tired of taking flyers around


Friday, October 08, 2004
I'm a Progressive gal.


Hugo and Sharon Olds

I think have read some other poem by Sharon Olds, but Hugo posted Sex Without Love, which I hadn't seen before. Now I want to read any of her poetry I can. Her style seems so familiar and has a definite impact on me. The poems I found on the internet all seem intensely personal.

I wonder what poem of hers I have read before?

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Wednesday, October 06, 2004
oops, I did it again.

B at TFIW has put up a devilishly funny post of covers by Max Raabe. I only had time to listen to the Britney Spears song so far, and I almost died. If you can imagine Britney as a male Cabaret singer in pre-Nazi Germany. . . or not.

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What Weight Watchers recipe card from 1974 are you?

inspiration
You are Inspiration Soup!! You live to Inspire those around you with your green beany, white chunky, red soupy goodness. Many have come and lit candles in your honor. You've inspired them to become better people. Thank you, Inspiration Soup... thank you.


What Weight Watchers recipe card from 1974 are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Tuesday, October 05, 2004
career aspirations

From about 6 until 12?: cartoonist who lived in Australia - I drew a lot around this time. I was pretty darn good, too. Around this time, my sister and I were fascinated by Australia.

High school: public/alternative radio DJ, NPR reporter

College: Book editor (without having to live in NYC)

Post-graduation: Freelance writer - I wanted to write articles while I worked in Minnesota.

Post-Americorps: work somehow with a non-profit, screenplay writer - I actually did start research and work on writing a film about a family whose matriarch had been sent to a Japanese-American internment camp. But then I gave up.



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Monday, October 04, 2004
Pilates. . . ouch.

I did "Easy Pilates" yesterday before getting ready for church. I wasn't sore until I got in bed last night, and now every muscle I have aches. This is good, though! It means I got a good workout. I can deal with the ache in my quadricep when I move my foot from the brake to the gas pedal, the pain in my stomach muscles when I cough.

Whine, whine, it's worth it.

I'm going to try and do some more tonight.

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Saturday, October 02, 2004
makeup, meeting people, and Napoleon Dynamite


Friday, October 01, 2004
shrieking children

There is a kid in the hallway by our office now, making noises like a cat being strangled. Well, how I imagine that would sound anyway. It's freakin' annoying!

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I introduced Grupo Fantasma

Yeah, instead of doing a fancy welcome speech during the service, I was relegated to introducing Grupo Fantasma after the service. They were awesome and some of the members quite attractive.

I stayed until around 8:45. The music was great, but I just started getting that "single" feeling. That's what I get for going by myself. I was just standing in the corner, moving my foot to the rhythm of the music, and feeling disappointed. I can't explain it, but there it is.

On the drive home I had to sing along with Sarah McLachlan's cover of "Dear God" blasting on my stereo to make myself feel a little better. Blasphemous? I dunno, but it helped.

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